My laziness and lack of blogging could only be due to one thing…
However, the online dating scene yet again has worn me down – Was this just not inevitable? Somebody please prove to me Italian men are NOT full of it. It’s a tragedy to think all this prime grade A beef is rancid.
Overall, perhaps I am just not receptive to empty compliments and emotional declarations based on nothing, stemming from people completely foreign to me, and that I have never so much as met in person. Maybe this makes me cold by comparison to the female demographic here, I can’t really say. Ital women – who knows what’s in their heads? Do they swoon? Are their eyes on permanent ‘auto-pilot roll’?
Lately, I have had far less communication with ‘The Legionairre.’ He was coming on a little too strong for for a complete stranger, and I started noticing a rise in the bullshit level (that’s putting it politely)… Another one bites the dust… NEXT!
A few days ago I deleted all contact info for Mr. Clark Kent. Therefore there would be no further temptation to for me to send any cordial salutations in the name of ‘friendship.’ My attempts have thus far been well-intended, honest and sincere with no strings or expectations attached. I am still confident that he only messaged me a few weeks ago because he spotted me with the awesome ‘Traveler,’ but regardless - I get the feeling CK thinks he is too good for me. Therefore I now sing to the tune of: “la-la-la go find your materialistic, milqutoast, arm-candy Italian princess, I am so over it, la-la-la!” But wouldn’t you know I heard from him again via text, asking me – first, how the weather was in my zone (as he was in Rome)… then intermittently quizzing me on how to select quality Maple syrup. YEAH WHATEVER. Interesting timing considering I was also heavy relay-texting with someone else, someone NEW…
Not long ago I posted a new profile photo on my Facebook page, I also posted the same photo here in a recent post. It was nothing special – just me, no make up, in a 7$ cowboy hat and a pair of sunglasses. Most of my friends ‘liked’ this photo… especially the dudes. It must have been the hat.
A couple of days later I got a FB email message about it from ‘Atlas.’
One simple phrase…
“Oh my god Cakes.”
I wasn’t exactly sure how to take that. It could have meant several things…
Oh my god Cakes what a stupid hat!
Oh my god Cakes can I have the name of the dentist that whitened your teeth?!
Oh my god Cakes I can’t believe how ordinary you look without make-up!
Oh my god Cakes I just got a boner looking at that photo! (Yeah right!)
I met Atlas, (a former professional body builder that now works independently in animal rescue) only once at Franca’s during a Sunday lunch she was having for some friends back in early May. She mentioned him previously last winter, and that I should meet him – as he was a rescue volunteer and very single – or at least add him as a friend on FB as had I already added several other animal rescue volunteers from the area to my FB peanut gallery.
However upon meeting him, I found him surprisingly ‘metro-sexual’ for a animal rescue volunteer (it must have been his spotless attire and the immaculate grooming of his eyebrows), and after one of his dogs vomited in the kitchen – he had cleaned the floor so meticulously I could have thrown the food from my plate and eaten off it. He seemed fairly reserved and during that afternoon we had no lengthy conversation between us, although I sensed he was watching me rather closely… especially my interaction with the dogs, as they tend to be my escape from boring, group socializing and forced small talk. I honestly never gave him much thought thereafter other than seeing he had clicked ‘like’ on some of my FB content. We had had little contact with each other other than sharing/commenting on various rescue endeavours and dogs up for adoption. Generally metrosexual men are intimidating and high maintenance – and anyways, what would a former bodybuilder want with my squishy butt and chunky thighs ?
Regardless, I replied to his ambiguous -“Oh my god Cakes”
“I hope that’s positive!”
“Very positive… I like you… a lot.”
“Really? That’s a surprise.”
“You’re really attractive.”
The Mental Recap
REALLY nice arms: bonus
Selfless volunteer for the good of canine welfare in the zone: bonus
Can always grow back over-groomed eyebrows: bonus
Then came my disclaimer…
“Really? You know I am really quite different than Italian women, and the men generally think of me as pretty strange. I think my values and beliefs on what is important – are generally different, therefore all this doesn’t make for a budding social life! But at least I have the dogs and they are great company and it’s nice to stay home with them and relax. If one day you’re in this area, if you want, come visit us. Here’s my cel as my internet access is limited at the moment… 346-xxx-xxxx.”
Atlas: “Don’t worry I wouldn’t judge someone without knowing them better first and I would like to know you better…. and sure, hopefully we can meet up soon.”
The next day began a series of FB messages…
I shall omit several profound references to my eyes and a tidal-wave of compliments along with creating mental images that could potentially melt my devices like low-fat margerine. For the moment I stand armoured, defense systems activated. I know exactly how the Italian men work, but damn he is GOOD.
“Cakes… like yourself, I also love dogs. I like your gentle demeanor and shyness and your way to look at life and the world… and you have excellent taste. You are original. You’re also seem very precise in everything you do. I can’t deny I am not attracted to you and that I find you exciting. I may be shy but very I’m warm and passionate. I respect you as a person, and desire you as a woman, but you are not an object. I hope my words don’t offend or upset you, I don’t mean any disrespect.”
I agonized on whether or not I should call Franca and get her take on this. I called her last night and she seemed pleased, as she confessed she invited both of us to lunch “to see if anything could come of it.” I mentioned his initial contact and without asking she told me everything I probably would have been to embarassed to ask her in the first place. Telling me he is very intelligent but just slightly rough around the edges, he is open-minded, compassionate/a really good-person (physically nothing to shake a stick at), with a lot of integrity. She said he doesn’t have many friends in the area and that can only be attributed to the fact he is so different than the others in their village (especially the local demographic of MacDaddy Gorillas) around him, and whatever refinement he may lack with respects to quasi-insignificant social graces, he can easily be fine tuned.
That’s some reference.
Tomorrow we have a date…
Let’s see how he measures up shall we?