Settling in ‘Singledom’

I used to have a “LIST.” It included all the admirable qualities my ‘Holy Grail of Manhood’ should embody and the varied interests that we should share. What happened to it?…

My Holy Grail of Manhood:
The fabulous Hugh Jackman…
(Sadly spoken for)

Well, as of recently it went a little something like this…

Familiar with my current ‘singledom’ and an epic sense of defeat, last month my fellow blog-sister Heidi Lee Munson  at The Art of Toad Kissing suggested I pick up this book: Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough. Hearing only the word “settle” was enough to make me balk in utter disgust. “SETTLE?” WHY would I EVER do that? However Heidi is one of the sharper tools in the shed. She did her time in the dating trenches and out of all the massive piles of crap, hauled out a pretty decent husband, so despite my reservations due to the book’s title  – I ordered it from Amazon UK.

And if I don’t surrender the fantasy?…

Who will he be? Let’s see…
Doctor?
Lawyer?
Indian chief?

The author was right. I didn’t want to be “on” all the time, smiling, charming,  checking my hair every 3 minutes while passing car-door windows, sneaking out of bed in the morning to go brush my teeth and fix my hair before my guy wakes up.

If he (whomever he is) was going to accept me, I had to at least give him a fair shot. I needed to have a refined look at myself, and what I want and examine any previous overall – tall, dark and handsome orders if need be, toss out the superficial, then make a reasonable choice based on what I could and couldn’t accept – that actually sounds logical. I also wanted to be accepted for who I was complete with all my many imperfections/quirks…  Curvy, chunky-thighed, sarcastic, cranky in the morning, bad hair, sometimes leaving dishes in the sink, White Stripes at full volume, always taking possession of the last banana, kissing my dogs on the snout, drinking juice straight out of the container and eating cake in bed… Basically me in a nutshell.

So take it or leave it.

About Cakes McCain

Aka. 'Oliver Twist with Furniture and Diamonds' Ex-pat, lunatic, survivor - A Bridget Jones/Shirley Valentine hybrid, epically flawed, neurotic literary ‘dirty apple’ with a penchant for broad shoulders, epic orgasms, & lazy Sunday mornings eating cake in bed. Almost always broken-hearted, forever analysing everything to a bloody pulp and eternally obessing over 'Pasta for One - The Manuscript' a chick-lit memoir about living single in fabulous Italy, while trying not to throw yourself in front of a speeding bus.
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11 Responses to Settling in ‘Singledom’

  1. SillyG says:

    Nice post! That list we all have is something to be negotiated hey?! Someone way back in in my blog told me to pick the few that were not negotiable. It worked much better… but I am still a sucker for the hot ones! Will say it again… love white stripes :)

  2. LJ says:

    Having been married for almost 17 years, I’ll tell you that I agree with this post. I’ve done a lot of “accepting” and so has my husband. I am no picnic…and neither is he. In fact, he proposed before we even met in person!!! Imagine how he felt to marry me six weeks later….

  3. The advice in that book was so true, and a new way of looking at things. It all makes sense when you see it in front of you in black and white. :)

  4. That book is on my shelf too. The author definitely had some great things to say and a unique perspective. I think acceptance is our greatest human need. I guess noe I am working on the short list— what Silly mentioned, what u wont accept. I like that!

  5. Pingback: How I Met My Husband, Part I – The Sexpeditions of Lady J

  6. I turned my husband down three times before I went out with him, because he did not fit what I thought I wanted… turns out he’s exactly what I needed. I totally agree that some things are non-negotiable, but so much really isn’t!

  7. Pingback: Answers and Apologies | The Art of Toad Kissing

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