Author Archives: Cakes McCain

About Cakes McCain

Aka. 'Oliver Twist with Furniture and Diamonds' Ex-pat, lunatic, survivor - A Bridget Jones/Shirley Valentine hybrid, epically flawed, neurotic literary ‘dirty apple’ with a penchant for broad shoulders, epic orgasms, & lazy Sunday mornings eating cake in bed. Almost always broken-hearted, forever analysing everything to a bloody pulp and eternally obessing over 'Pasta for One - The Manuscript' a chick-lit memoir about living single in fabulous Italy, while trying not to throw yourself in front of a speeding bus.

It’s my blog and I’ll bitch if I want to

Recently a FB contact took a pot shot at me  in response to a quip I made on another friend’s post. The post was regarding odd couples she had observed that day, and my comment went something like this: “How … Continue reading

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Cakes vs. Scones: The Identity Crisis

During the last few months while my mojo has been curled-up into the fetal position and I have attempted (on some level) to deal with a cornucopia of emotional shit to which I am in not willing to succumb (denial hard at work) … Continue reading

Posted in affirmations, blog, bloggers, boredom, cake, dating, depression, Eating, European men, friendship, grieving, guilt, humour, Italian life, Italian men, Italy, Italy living, Life in Italy, Living in Italy, losers, love, MacDaddy, perverts, positive thinking, relationships, self examination, self help, self loathing, sex, single girl, social misfit, travel, Uncategorized, writers, x-pat, x-pats | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

A lost Mojo, Neurotic Salad and the gross misuse of ‘Mactac’

I might be this guy… Peter Whitman (Adrien Brody) with a simmering melancholy during his journey in Darjeeling Limited -  Used his dead father’s razor, and wore his prescription glasses  rendering him almost legally blind. Although I was tempted, as I had 3 … Continue reading

Posted in depression, friendship, grieving, humour, losers, love, positive thinking, self examination, self help, self loathing, travel, Uncategorized, x-pat, x-pats | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

2+ months: Sex, death and champagne.

I had a good month… That was all the time I actually spent in the UK with the lovely Sir English. We drank champagne and ate cake… Made-out on the banks of some river while being ogled by intrusive sheep… … Continue reading

Posted in cake, dating, depression, dogs, European men, friendship, grieving, guilt, hook-ups, humour, materialism, relationships, self examination, self help, single girl, social misfit, travel, x-pat | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

‘The Sensual Blogger Award,’ sexy secrets and some mildly erotic bedsugar…

Lovely Alice of StoryofAlice was really TOO kind by bestowing this honour upon myself: The Sensual Blogger Award. “Cakes at Pasta for One, whose collection of erotic misadventures told with warmth and humour is rivalled by no one.” In addition, I can’t … Continue reading

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Welcome to the ‘Man-Cave’

The voyage via ferry from The Netherlands to The UK was uneventful to say the least. Feeling abunbdantly sorry for my travelling companion Miss Big-Paws  – I spent most of the time sitting in the ship’s kennel room keeping her company. Upon … Continue reading

Posted in dating, dogs, European men, humour, single girl, Uncategorized, x-pat, x-pats | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Departures and (various) Entries…

THE PRE-DEPARTURE I decided months ago I was not going to spend my entire summer in a social coma dressed in my pyjamas 24-7, sitting in bed, a Linda Blair-Cyndi Lauper hybrid, yet again watching the complete series of Doctor Who … Continue reading

Posted in dating, dating rejects, dogs, friendship, humour, internet dating, love, online dating, relationships, self examination, sex, single girl, social misfit, travel, Uncategorized, x-pat, x-pats | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

The saga of my relative homelessness, uncertain future, travel neurosis and dating a NICE man… Begins.

It’s official. I will be on a plane, blowing this popsicle stand, and off this continent come May 15.  My mandate is to scope the far corners of various hoods and revive my creativity as it has suffered from acute … Continue reading

Posted in dating, Eating, European men, food, friendship, hook-ups, humour, internet dating, Italian men, MacDaddy, online dating, perverts, relationships, self examination, sex, single girl, social misfit, travel, Uncategorized, web dating, x-pat, x-pats | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Functionally freaked and hitting the open road…

I have been here almost 5 months, with the exception of the week I spent in Big City. I don’t work, I can barely write anymore, I’m bored, isolated and rarely leave the house more than twice a week – … Continue reading

Posted in boredom, depression, humour, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Post-clarity and more cake!

He’s so nerdy, smart and funny. He grabs my glasses and does Michael Cane imitations – I love it. It cracks me up. I make him do it for my friends, however it’s mostly for my benefit. Post kiss dialogue… CM: I … Continue reading

Posted in dating, dating rejects, European men, food, hook-ups, humour, internet dating, love, relationships, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments