Studies show… (a mere mini-post)

The Cakes McCain (one-woman) Research Foundation’s on-going study proves more and more men on online dating websites are copping this attitude…

The irony is staggering.

Some examples:

What should I think if the profile name that you have chosen is “baldyballsagain” and your profile photo includes 2 preteen girls?

Comments you may think are charming, clever and funny?
Well, they’re actually kind of lame…

Email from ‘rocketnerd’:  “Ahh another stunningly beautiful day just starting. It just feels so awesome!!! Had such a productive day, then gym, sushi and drinks with a lovely lady. In Italia ze life is gudde, verri gudde.”

If your date was so lovely, why are you emailing me on a dating site?

The fact this one doesn’t drive a crappy Fiat, doesn’t make him less sleazy –

Star: Hey… when I will see you? 😀

CM:  You’re the stalker. LOL! Why are you asking me?  I have friends in Milan I can visit, but I can’t go up there at this moment. I have to work, and I just paid a ridiculous amount to money to the Italian government.

Star: You pay a lot because Italy is beautiful…

CM: Yes, however in the words of your countrymen: “the balls are broken.”

Star: I can bring to you a couple of new hard balls… wanna try?

CM: Only if there are solid and made of dark chocolate, or torrone.

(Oh, please let this discourse end here, I can see where this is going…)

Star: You want to bite them? I have something hard to make you taste… lol… same shape of salame… hard like torrone, sweet like chocolate.

CM: It better be made of sugar, and not a body part. Contrary to the Italian mentality, and men on this site – I am NOT actually here to get laid.

OK maybe I am, but within the confines of a healthy functional relationship… Until then, there is always cake.

Let there be cake...

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About Cakes McCain

Aka. 'Oliver Twist with Furniture and Diamonds' Ex-pat, lunatic, survivor - A Bridget Jones/Shirley Valentine hybrid, epically flawed, neurotic literary ‘dirty apple’ with a penchant for broad shoulders, epic orgasms, & lazy Sunday mornings eating cake in bed. Almost always broken-hearted, forever analysing everything to a bloody pulp and eternally obessing over 'Pasta for One - The Manuscript' a chick-lit memoir about living single in fabulous Italy, while trying not to throw yourself in front of a speeding bus.
This entry was posted in cake, casual sex, chocolate, cravings, dating, dating rejects, European men, food, Friends with benefits, hook-ups, humour, internet dating, Italian life, Italian men, Italy living, Life in Italy, Living in Italy, losers, MacDaddy, one night stand, online dating, perverts, players, relationships, sex, single girl, social misfit, sugar fix, web dating, x-pat, x-pats and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Studies show… (a mere mini-post)

  1. BH says:

    Sponge Bob!!!!!! You naughty boy….On another note…that CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG…

  2. trjensen says:

    I adore you. Very funny! The cake is hilarious.And really don’t undersatnd the logic of telling a woman you are trying to date that you just had a date with someone else. Do menm really think it will invoke envy? I don’t know you, why would I care, ya’ douche?

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