The Cakes McCain (one-woman) Research Foundation’s on-going study proves more and more men on online dating websites are copping this attitude…
The irony is staggering.
What should I think if the profile name that you have chosen is “baldyballsagain” and your profile photo includes 2 preteen girls?
Comments you may think are charming, clever and funny?
Well, they’re actually kind of lame…
Email from ‘rocketnerd’: “Ahh another stunningly beautiful day just starting. It just feels so awesome!!! Had such a productive day, then gym, sushi and drinks with a lovely lady. In Italia ze life is gudde, verri gudde.”
If your date was so lovely, why are you emailing me on a dating site?
The fact this one doesn’t drive a crappy Fiat, doesn’t make him less sleazy –
Star: Hey… when I will see you? 😀
CM: You’re the stalker. LOL! Why are you asking me? I have friends in Milan I can visit, but I can’t go up there at this moment. I have to work, and I just paid a ridiculous amount to money to the Italian government.
Star: You pay a lot because Italy is beautiful…
CM: Yes, however in the words of your countrymen: “the balls are broken.”
Star: I can bring to you a couple of new hard balls… wanna try?
CM: Only if there are solid and made of dark chocolate, or torrone.
(Oh, please let this discourse end here, I can see where this is going…)
Star: You want to bite them? I have something hard to make you taste… lol… same shape of salame… hard like torrone, sweet like chocolate.
CM: It better be made of sugar, and not a body part. Contrary to the Italian mentality, and men on this site – I am NOT actually here to get laid.
OK maybe I am, but within the confines of a healthy functional relationship… Until then, there is always cake.