The pre-date mini pep-talk…

There they go again…

A: You have a date in 2 hours.

D: And? … What’s your point?

A: You need to behave yourself.

D: Why do you always have to be a downer?

A: Do we REALLY have to have this conversation? Shall I mention Roberto – the sexual tape-worm? Mr. Superior to everyone Clark Kent? Or how about we raise the dead ie. Viagra-popping Running Man with his ‘altre amiche’, The Virgin that never gave you ONE orgasm, The smelly Farm-Stay Guy from the east who barely realized you were present during said act? Or how about Stalker-ex  – the reigning king of all douche-bags?

D: Ok. Point taken, enough already.

A: Here are the the Rules:  No debauchery! No alcohol! No pot smoking! NO SEX – this includes blow jobs.

Good girls don’t.
(or do they?)

D: NO FUN! He’s already built this thing up from an anthill to the Taj Mahal. You realize he is going to be all over me? He’s all but said this via text – respectfully and quite poetically I might add.

A:  What if this one is a gem? Wouldn’t it be worth this tiny investment to hold off a little and NOT present yourself as an up-for-anything interlude for any hot dude trying to get his rocks off? If he’s not a gem, he’s just another notch on the bedpost. What sort of trophy is that? Remember what Deni said about Italian men and the ‘Madonna-Whore Complex?’ “Do you really want to play the latter for the typical Italian douche-bag?”

So… Put that libido on ice!

D: UFFF! Well then, excuse me – I guess I had better be off to prepare shouldn’t I?


About Cakes McCain

Aka. 'Oliver Twist with Furniture and Diamonds' Ex-pat, lunatic, survivor - A Bridget Jones/Shirley Valentine hybrid, epically flawed, neurotic literary ‘dirty apple’ with a penchant for broad shoulders, epic orgasms, & lazy Sunday mornings eating cake in bed. Almost always broken-hearted, forever analysing everything to a bloody pulp and eternally obessing over 'Pasta for One - The Manuscript' a chick-lit memoir about living single in fabulous Italy, while trying not to throw yourself in front of a speeding bus.
This entry was posted in casual sex, cheaters, dating, dating rejects, European men, ex boyfriends, exes, Friends with benefits, friendship, hook-ups, humour, internet dating, Italian life, Italian men, Italy, Italy living, Life in Italy, Living in Italy, losers, love, MacDaddy, one night stand, online dating, perverts, players, relationships, self examination, self loathing, sex, single girl, social misfit, trust, web dating, x-pat, x-pats and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The pre-date mini pep-talk…

  1. Theo Black says:

    Good luck. You know as much as I always WANTED sex on the first date, or even before the date so we can get it over and enjoy the movie, you probably have a better shot at long-term if you hold off a little. Plus you avoid those uncomfortable things you spend weeks extracting yourself from. But have a good time, be in by 11:30.

  2. A Dog With Fleas says:

    Can’t wait to hear if you follow the Angel or Devil’s advice. Either way….have a great time and hope he is a gem!!

  3. V.V. Wolf says:

    LOLOL! Love the pics!

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