Loop-holes and the man in my shower

A: Allora? What do you have to say for yourself now?

D: I only broke one rule. Are you going to crucify me over one vodka cooler and a micro shot of white Port, and strawberry liquor? Plus he seemed nervous for the longest time and needed a little loosening up.

A: You know exactly what I am talking about.

D: The deal was  – NO SEX and no blow jobs. Did sexual intercourse take place? Was oral sex given or received? NO.

A: You were grinding each other naked. I think you made him cry. Now you’re sending him home with carpal-tunnel and blue balls. Although he does seem to have a certain, euphoric look…

(I swear I was hearing this song in my head during said interlude)

D:  OMG I know! That was amazing! I was epic!  That is partially YOUR doing by the way – Great prep-work, you and your social conscience, activism vibe, and independence, reeled him in – He had no idea what was lying beneath! He thought we were some  variety of sexually frigid Ice Queen! Now he says I have fire inside of me.  This whole ‘no-sex’ deal is amazing!  That was the best sex I NEVER had!

A: You’re incorrigible.

D: Come on! He was calling our name! AND he’s got it – I mean did this guy study some sort of  topographical map of our hooch before-hand ? He makes the others look like hacks! I can’t even remember the last time a guy kissed us like that (maybe never), or when we EVER had that level of chemistry. He just got out of the shower… I can smell him from here. He smells so good. Wait, now he is behind us, brushing our hair to the side and kissing our back. THIS is what single women come to Italy for!

A: Yeah but…

D: No buts, let’s not over-analyze things shall we? He came over, we made him a nice dinner,  watched DVD together then he took the container of the gelato he brought and grabbed  2 spoons. After, we took it to the next level…

A: I don’t know about this…

D:  Nothing is for certain, and that’s ok. Doesn’t it just keep getting better every time? So relax. For now, let’s just enjoy the ride.


About Cakes McCain

Aka. 'Oliver Twist with Furniture and Diamonds' Ex-pat, lunatic, survivor - A Bridget Jones/Shirley Valentine hybrid, epically flawed, neurotic literary ‘dirty apple’ with a penchant for broad shoulders, epic orgasms, & lazy Sunday mornings eating cake in bed. Almost always broken-hearted, forever analysing everything to a bloody pulp and eternally obessing over 'Pasta for One - The Manuscript' a chick-lit memoir about living single in fabulous Italy, while trying not to throw yourself in front of a speeding bus.
This entry was posted in casual sex, dating, European men, Friends with benefits, friendship, hook-ups, humour, Italian life, Italian men, Italy, Italy living, Life in Italy, Living in Italy, love, one night stand, players, relationships, self examination, sex, single girl, social misfit, Uncategorized, x-pat, x-pats and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Loop-holes and the man in my shower

  1. A Dog With Fleas says:

    I like what I’m reading!! Sounds like a good night……:) Hope there is more good things to come!!

  2. Theo Black says:

    See, that’s what a first date is supposed to be like. That’s perfect.

  3. V.V. Wolf says:

    One of my favorite songs…will be in my upcoming writings….and for you to relax to….

  4. LJ says:

    I have finally had a moment to sit and read the last few posts here. I think the lady next me started panting when she saw Mr. Gorgeous frolicking in the waves ( I am sitting in the orthodontist’s office plunking away on my iPad). Well…what can I say? I’m just beyond excited for you. Truly…do enjoy yourself…and forgive the typos. Typing this out quickly is so awkward in this waiting room surrounded by uptight Midwesterners.

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