I figured the best way to climb out of this mental abyss I seem to have fallen into lately would to be get back in the game, and with a vengeance. I had previously set up a profile on an Italian dating site but wasn’t so big on the demographic of players online, BUT due to recent events I have had a revelation…
If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
It doesn’t mean I am going to hook up with the likes of a sexual-tapeworm Roberto-clone, although you can’t swing a cat here in the zone without hitting one. Regardless I may as well be having lots of easy, no-strings orgasms until my holy-grail surfaces (whomever he may be), and NOT bed anyone I actually like, and consider relationship-material. (Because we know how THAT will turn out).
How ‘STEROTYPICAL ITALIAN-MALE DOUCHBAG’ of me.
(Thank you for the enlightenment Atlas)
I should be the female Fabrizio Corona…
I was only logged in for a short time before I got several chat requests. I engaged about 5 to start and was given cel numbers for most of them.
But the prize for ‘Most Engaging Content in a Text Conversation’ goes to: Alex from Milan – aka. “The Penetrating Tongue.”
I began innocently enough, names, areas we live in, jobs – he is a military helicopter pilot. Our exchange was mostly in Italian, and he did most of the talking:
CM: So why no pic?
PT: I am not allowed to post my photos online, because of my job in the military.
CM: OK top secret huh?
PT: More or less. To give you an idea: I’m medium height, weight, broad shoulders (because of the training), short salt/pepper hair , green eyes.
Did someone say shoulders?
PT: I come to your area often. My ex wife is there and I visit my 3 year old daughter. When I am there I’d like to take you out. What is your favourite dish?
CM: Parmigiana di melanzane, or cuttlefish, calamari, or octopus.
PT: I will take you to the most beautiful place where they have the have the best seafood.
CM: OK but before I meet someone I need to see a photo.
PT: And if you like it? You take it to bed?
CM: Huh? No. What is that supposed to mean?
PT: Don’t you like to be kissed?
This was way out of left field. I thought maybe he’d got me confused with someone else he was texting at the same time?…
Whatever. I am the one juggling 5 men on chat.
CM: Yes, but why did you say that about taking it to bed?
PT: Just an expression. Now I want to go under your desk, and start kissing your legs
CM: Excuse me?
PT: I want to trace my tongue along your thigh, move aside your panties and touch your pussy with the tip of my tongue to see how it feels and taste it. It’s so hot, so wet. Then I take them in my teeth and slide them off over your hips and down your legs, then I return to you again so I can move my tongue freely between your lips and rub your clit… I feel you dripping wet as I lick your clit and I penetrate you with my finger…
He had a way with words indeed. If I didn’t know better I’d say he had started taking pointers from fellow blogger and sexual renaissance man: Theo Black.
CM: Really? You chat like this often with girls you meet online?
PT: No. Only with you because you are the one that I would like to do it with. You don’t like it?
CM: I don’t buy it, but ok… Carry on.
PT: Do you know what my fantasy with you is?
CM: No, but do tell…
Did I have anything more entertaining scheduled for a Wednesday evening?
He continued as I read with enthusiasm, and intermittently made 3 dates for the upcoming days with the others…
I am SO Back!