Here we go again…
As I have recently arrived back in the Canadian home-zone I felt it only fair I finally pay some local Toronto homeboys homage for putting themselves out there in the online-dating world…
Other than noting the following profile’s gross abuse and misuse of caps, punctuation, and the fact the writer’s grammar and spelling are atrocious, I have decided to keep my comments to a relative minimum, and merely note impartial observations…
However I would like to hereby challenge my beloved readers to a game of…
‘SPOT THE DEALBREAKERS!’
Therefore without further adieu I give you this week’s: ‘WTF Online-Dating Profile Award’ to whom I have bestowed upon the following Canadian gent, who’s stellar dating profile prompted me to ponder the genetic possibility of fish actually growing opposable thumbs.
Warning: In order not to exhaust my spellcheck, the following profile has NOT been edited.
Reader discretion is advised.
I AM A **GORGEOUS HOTTIE** AND AS THE SONG GOES I AM SIMPLY THE BEST *** BETTER THEN ALL THE REST***
SCOTTIE is here. Throw all the other fish back I am the greatest SEXY CATCH in the sea.
‘Ultimate’ and ‘might’ are indeed strong words…
MY ULTIMATE hope is to one day go to a SYMPHONY IN VANCOUVER WITH THE ONE I MIGHT LOVE and show her the city.
A lover of fine cuisine…
My favourite food is BBQ CHICKEN WINGS
Chronically single with extended-family values and favours ‘too getherness’…
I have never been married and have no kids of my own but i am an uncle to 6 great kids
*I GOT INTEGRITY AND honesty and am romantic too a fault ** i enjoy sitting by my fire place on a coold day with the one i love relaxing feeling soo relaxed ** the heat just has a way of bringing two people closer too gether
-music* phil collins* pointer sisters * chubby checker* marvin gaye* plus many other oldies as well * i believe oldie CLASSIC music brings out the best in a MUSIC lover
Gainfully employed and ‘Dishwasher Safe’
I work in a restaurant as a DISH WASHER **(SANITIZER ENGINEER)**
Harbours a passion for film and in particular this cinematic masterpiece:
Favourite movie is NATIONAL LAMPOONS CHRISTMAS VACATION
SHITTER WAS FULL….. aahhh … did you check our shitters honey….
family IS *VERY* IMPORTANT TO ME
I HAVE A ***NEW*** FOUND RESPECT FOR GHOSTS AND ORCHESTRA MUSIC.
I have a twisted yet great sence of humour & i have always thought of my self as the 4TH stooge SOO I love the 3 stooges* I like the big bang theroy but i am not looking for COITUS* i like two and a half men but i am not a player like CHARLIE HARPER * I like the simpsons *DOH* but i am not a BIIG ned flanders fan *DIDLY* (12)** I love hockey the WINNIPEG JETS are my number ### 1 team also the calgary flames and edmonton oilers ** THE LONDON KNIGHTS** also My DREAM vehicle is a 2012 CHEVY AVALANCHE IN A NIIICE LOOKING WHITE
I WOULD RATHER PLAY NAKED TWISTER WITH THE GOLDEN GIRLS THEN NOT FIND LOVE…
Believe me no one wants to play naked twister with the golden girls.
Yeah, I’m back peeps…
And this is a whole other zone.