That’s amore! Sweet Valentine’s Day innuendos for the insane!

Cakes McCain:certified LOVE junkie.

Cakes McCain:
Feeling the love but not sending cards…

I have fond memories  as a wee youngster long ago exchanging valentines with my fellow classmates. All of us with our little hand-made Valentine delivery envelopes made of red craft paper, with all of our names written on them. Wasn’t it just the nicest thing to get a card from someone? (Even if they WERE only being polite.) I think it still is. However when it comes to the selection, purchase, and sending of cards of any sort, I am about as proactive as a 3-toed sloth.

If I was so inclined to communicate a serious message of love, I would be more inclined to stay home in my Casper the Friendly Ghost flannel pyjamas (as I am currently unemployed and have no one in the immediate vicinity to impress) and make a mini-collage or some sort of art work, with a brief personal note. However despite my own disinterest in the quest and purchase of greeting cards, in the past 4 months I have received 3 (accompanied by a book) with a brief note written inside, from my gentlemanly friend from across the ocean.  All of which I have most admired and sentimentally wedged in the frame of my bedroom’s mirror.

Kids are so innocent.Aren't they?

Kids are so innocent.
Aren’t they?

Now as V-Day quickly approaches, having been away from my homeland for so long, I can’t help but wonder what exactly goes on in schools these days and the current social norm. Do kids still exchange paper valentines at school or as it now become socially unacceptable or forbidden like peanut butter sandwiches? Is it considered lame and old-fashioned? Are greetings simply sent via Facebook, text or e-cards instead?

For a small taste of nostalgia I ventured out into cyberspace to find examples of Valentine’s Day greetings, to perhaps post to my Facebook page. Didn’t I just find some lovely Valentine sentiments from yesteryear, have a look…

As long as you, your cock, and/or beaver are sure on this special day…

As long as you, your cock, and/or beaver are in agreement...

For those who LOVE their pets…
(I do love my dog and I am certain she harbours some affection in return, but hopefully she will not be brandishing me with the following  gifts.)

val set 2

For those of us only looking for strictly sexual encounters…

val set 3

A case of unrequited love?
Finally some suitable sentiments for the obsessive stalker in us all…

val set 4

 Isn’t love grand?
xox, CM


About Cakes McCain

Aka. 'Oliver Twist with Furniture and Diamonds' Ex-pat, lunatic, survivor - A Bridget Jones/Shirley Valentine hybrid, epically flawed, neurotic literary ‘dirty apple’ with a penchant for broad shoulders, epic orgasms, & lazy Sunday mornings eating cake in bed. Almost always broken-hearted, forever analysing everything to a bloody pulp and eternally obessing over 'Pasta for One - The Manuscript' a chick-lit memoir about living single in fabulous Italy, while trying not to throw yourself in front of a speeding bus.
This entry was posted in casual sex, dating, dating rejects, humour, losers, love, perverts, relationships, sex, single girl, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to That’s amore! Sweet Valentine’s Day innuendos for the insane!

  1. MJ says:

    OMG! Those are some of the creepiest valentines I’ve ever seen! Well, except for the dog on the bed…that’s just realism.

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