2+ months: Sex, death and champagne.

I had a good month…
That was all the time I actually spent in the UK with the lovely Sir English.

We drank champagne and ate cake…

bp and c

Made-out on the banks of some river while being ogled by intrusive sheep…
Frolicked with Miss Big-Paws in meadows like cool Anglo-Saxon VonTraps …

bp meadow-horz 2

Chilled in London…

DSC00180 ps bw 2

Had morning sex, crumpets, and pancakes several mornings in a row…
Saw a production at the theatre…
Took in local historical sights and museum openings…


Look what showed up at the local museum…
If only it worked.

Dressed in costume to attend one of London’s biggest costume parties…

me and mr t

Me, Sir Rupert The Black,  and my new friend Mr. Tumnus…
I would have taken him home and made a pet of him if I could.

But of course that was all before I received the news that my father had passed away. No matter how well prepared  I thought I was for the inevitable – I wasn’t. I was/am flattened. I have been back in hometown purgatory for 6 weeks now, and aside from dealing with some sort of my own personal warped version of grief, I am back to square one and certifiably in the bell jar.

I applied for a UK Visa. Within 10 days it was in my hand.

Here we go again.

Kill me now.

Kill me now.

I am up to my eyebrows in responsibility I can’t possibly handle. I am off packing all kinds of shit I will probably regret and hate myself for later, all to move to another f’cking country and start all over again NEXT WEEK.

What the fuck am I doing?


About Cakes McCain

Aka. 'Oliver Twist with Furniture and Diamonds' Ex-pat, lunatic, survivor - A Bridget Jones/Shirley Valentine hybrid, epically flawed, neurotic literary ‘dirty apple’ with a penchant for broad shoulders, epic orgasms, & lazy Sunday mornings eating cake in bed. Almost always broken-hearted, forever analysing everything to a bloody pulp and eternally obessing over 'Pasta for One - The Manuscript' a chick-lit memoir about living single in fabulous Italy, while trying not to throw yourself in front of a speeding bus.
This entry was posted in cake, dating, depression, dogs, European men, friendship, grieving, guilt, hook-ups, humour, materialism, relationships, self examination, self help, single girl, social misfit, travel, x-pat and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to 2+ months: Sex, death and champagne.

  1. Diane C says:

    I’m so sorry about your dad. Mine passed away 3 1/2 years ago and I still miss him. In the beginning I was in crisis mode all the time, but slowly the grief gave way and I had longer and longer periods where I was fine. Every now and then, the grief pops up its head and I feel it and then let it pass on its way. You will be fine too. Best of luck in the UK. London is an amazing city and will help you heal.

  2. Anisa says:

    Ooof, that’s a lot. Hoping you begin to find your way through.

  3. Anisa says:

    Also, if you find a functioning TARDIS, let me know. I’ll join you.

    • Cakes McCain says:

      Will do… I am hopeful.
      Btw the DW 50th Anniversary party at the local museum is the weekend I get back. I wonder who I will meet… a Dalek? an Ood? Madame Vastra?!!!

  4. Sorry to hear about your dad. R u returning to live with Sir English when you go back?

  5. MJ says:

    I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your dad. I’m thinking of you….

  6. Leela says:

    Condolences 😦 But wow – on to some serious adventure!

  7. oh, cakes, i’m so sorry to hear of the passing of your father. grief isn’t warped, it’s just grief; it gets easier.
    …and you ask what the fuck are you doing? well, lovely one, you’re living!! do it, all of it xx

  8. girlseule says:

    That is a whole lot going on! Good luck with your UK move are you going to London?

  9. I have been thinking about you and stalking your blog on occasion. I am so sorry to hear about your dad. But I am glad you are having more adventures, I hope they are as lovely as you are 🙂

  10. SillyG says:

    So sorry about your dad, Cakes.

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